My plan, in driving to the grand opening Friday of the region’s newest and biggest Whole Foods, was to give you a Wild-World-of-Animals-type dispatch from the suburb whose name wrongly suggests it has a town center of any kind: Newtown Square, Delaware County.

Would the people of this affluent quadrant in Philadelphia’s western suburbs be found trampling one another while racing from their parked Range Rovers, BMWs, Hondas, and Subarus toward the automatic sliding glass doors separating them from the mound of dragon fruit selling for $3.99 apiece inside?