This thing about The Feast of Seven Fishes that Italians do on Christmas Eve was something I learned, I dunno, maybe when I was 40 years old. I mean, we all have traditions, right? And our own family tradition on Christmas Eve was extra special because it was also my Grandma Ida’s birthday.

My Auntie Sis has hosted our family’s Christmas Eve dinner every year since before I was born. (The party starts at 3 p.m. this year; I am admonished not to be late (but everyone know I will be.) And sure, we had fish on Christmas Eve, but I never knew until I was a middle-aged man that we were supposed to have SEVEN different fishes?